When you pull the fridge, but the fridge pulls you.

You ever try pull the fridge door, but it pulls you. 🙄 lol.

Been a while since I wrote, just been focusing on who I want to be, trying to understand why and if I can become that person, and how to let go of things that prevent you from becoming that person. I think we all do but speaking for myself I tend to have these ‘realisations’ every so often, wanting to change things and having a shift of perspective, but those changes only happen at the right time, when things align and that thought can really be put into action, I’ve known for a long time that I am capable of bigger things, and I was limited by various external things in my life but the biggest weight is my own mindset, wanting to do big things but still thinking ‘can I do that? Maybe not, too expensive, too extravagant’ rather than ‘how can I do this.’ I know, it sounds simple, as in everyone that gives inspirational talks says that shit, but it only truly hit me the other day. There was no particular moment that made me get to that point but I just started thinking like that, thinking of what it would be like having a store in Oxford street, how I would design it different to any other store, there are real structural limitations to it that I highly doubt buildings in Oxford street would allow for, but that’s besides the point, the freedom to dream shouldn’t be taken away, especially by yourself, Shit changes all the time you never know maybe one day I would be able break down several floors in one of them buildings to make space for my installation and if not I might find a better place for it. The point it’s my mindset was my biggest limitation, nothing around me has changed my obstacles are still the same but I’ve just learnt to let some of it go.

But yeah I’m listening to Donda and although I’m Muslim, Jesus lord is a banging tune, regardless of religion I think many can resonate with his passion, I haven’t even depicted the words yet but you can hear all you need to from the beat. I may be a bit lost when it comes to religion but I’m aware of my own relationship, and again who I want to be. Now that I think about it, it was actually the track Heaven and Hell that pushed me, the energy to believe in myself, to do me, become who the F I am. I then watched Cruella staring Emma Stone, and it’s a banging film man, it inspired me, as someone who was always lingering on the fence of wanting to be a GREAT fashion designer, and make some couture like pieces, seeing that along with the thought I am my only limitation it just revitalised that dream, a dream that is now a journey, maybe not a destination but something I want to work towards along the way of being the best artist I can be.

So to sum it up, I’ve wanted to be a fashion designer in the back of my mind for a long time, now I realise I can if I get stuck in, jump in the deep end and learn the skills I need I can fulfil that desire. I want to collaborate with other brands mainly ones with a unique craft, using those skill sets and my concepts to create something great. In a generation where online stores are seen as the future I’m leaning towards having my own store, something big, contemporary, a mix of sculpture and innovation.

I want people to see me for who I am implement my ideas in the world, working together to make thought provoking, expressive, beautiful work, not necessarily all together, but one thing I need to say output without hesitation is, I am a conceptual artist.