I failed again. (Delays)

I’ve always believed every “L” is a lesson… but honestly, sometimes I truly hate the process.

This has been one of the hardest periods I’ve gone through in a long time.

Off the back of my rapid growth and virality, I released my leaf print camo collection. Before that drop, the largest batch I’d ever produced at once was ten handmade pieces. But this time, I felt ambitious. I’d been working hard, growing fast, and I thought I was ready to handle whatever came next.

And it worked - at first. I had over 100 sales. I was ecstatic. It felt incredible to know people loved my work. For the first time, I saw enough money in my account to believe I could really make a living doing what I love. The day before the drop, I only had 12pounds in my account. My gamble paid off.

But don’t get it twisted - this isn’t where I failed. The money didn’t go to my head. I didn’t spend a penny on myself. I reinvested it all into my business - buying supplies, packaging, and everything I needed to fulfil orders.

While waiting for the blanks to arrive, I let myself breathe a little. I visited family for the first time in a long while and it was a nice time, the first nice time I had in a while one where I was actually able to leave the house because I had enough money to get a train ticket to see them and buy them a nice meal, it was simple but that ease to do the simple things is a feeling I cherish, and currently miss, because this is where my first lesson began.

My estimated delivery time for my art was 4–6 weeks. But the bulk order of hoodies ran into a massive setback — they couldn’t fulfil the shipment until all items were in stock. Suddenly, my expected delivery was moved to 8–12 weeks. Three months, just to receive them that doesn’t include the time it takes for me to hand-make and ship them.

I acted fast, emailing everyone with updates. Most people responded with kindness and understanding, which meant a lot. To keep things moving, I decided to reorder hoodies in smaller batches from what was available, thinking it would help me stay on track. What I didn’t realise was how expensive that decision would be. Each smaller shipment came with massive import and shipping fees — sometimes an order of 120pounds would cost additional 50pounds?? in extra charges. It added up fast. But I just wanted to get the orders out.

Then I got the best news imaginable - my wife was pregnant. That pushed me to work even harder. But it also meant I needed to be careful. My process involves bleach and fumes, and I couldn’t have that around her. So I invested in safer equipment and setups to work from home. It worked for a while, but once the orders piled up, it wasn’t sustainable the chlorine gas from the bleach was overwhelming and would leak in the house without a proper set up.

I couldn’t afford a studio or shed yet, so I set up under a canopy outside. It was winter. Wind would blow the leaves around, causing the bleach on the leaves to spill, and I’d have to stop entirely some days. My process is delicate and intentional, I wouldn’t send out flawed or rushed pieces.

(The winds in england recently were extreme, lifted the canopy whilst I was working and the pole fell on my head, I decided to remove the fabric andprop the canopy again after the weather passes but it happened again a few days later.)

By then, I’d used all my income trying to stay on top of things. I couldn’t even afford to ship orders overseas. Every email notification started giving me anxiety - not because people were rude, but because I had no good news to give. I hated disappointing anyone. I hated that I didn’t have better answers.

I tried to bring in new income with another drop, but being away from social media for so long killed my momentum. The algorithm wasn’t pushing my work, and emotionally, I didn’t feel right promoting new products while so many people were still waiting. And when I did post, I got messages from people who felt disrespected that I was promoting new work before finishing old orders - which was fair.even though I was doing it to fulfill their orders, it was completely fair.

At that point, I didn’t even know what to say anymore. I wanted to stay transparent, but constant updates with no progress just felt like noise. I didn’t want to keep saying, “Still delayed.” So I went quiet, only wanting to email when there was good news - but the good news just wasn’t coming.

Everything felt like it was falling apart.
I was broke. Stressed. Overwhelmed.
I stopped going to the gym - It felt like every minute away from production was wasted, but that hour away from gym didn’t end up productive anyways. My blood pressure went through the roof for my age and I just had terrible health which has a ripple affect in how I felt daily, and it didn’t help that I also felt trapped - mentally and financially.

And truthfully, as I write this, I’m still here. Still feeling stuck. Still trying.

I can only hope that my current customers can find it in them to trust me again someday. This whole experience has been a brutal learning curve - one I hate as it came at the expense of others who believed in me. Because this situation doesn’t represent who I am, or what I stand for. I’ve always believed in giving people a superb experience, and this fell far short of that.

So yeah - I’m deeply sorry. But I’m not giving up.
I’ll get these orders done asap.
I’ll make it right.
And one day, I’ll rebuild that trust and repay every ounce of support you’ve given me.

I’m only writing this because I know one day I’ll look back at this and know it was just stepping stone to the success I’ll work hard for, but right now its quite triggering, and if you are one of my customers currently waiting I do hope this provides some insight and reassurance that none of this was intentional and I aim to provide you the best of what I can offer whether its now or later.